i dreamed of YOU. 

believe me, it was not what i wanted. i don’t even think about you anymore. i don’t hate you anymore because i’ve moved on and accepted what my real feelings were. i HAD feelings for you, which was why i felt like you betrayed me. 

surprised, right?

well, just rest assured that i’m finally, FINALLY, smack dab in the “ugh, seriously? what the FUCK was i thinking?!” phase. it’s pretty nice here!

but the dream, that’s the point.

we had ran into each other, around mutual friends (of which in reality we only have…. none) and we couldn’t stand the sight of one another. you blamed me for your shortcoming as a man, i called you a loser and pitiful. we fought about her. you blamed me,again, and said it was my fault you lost her. i told you that you never truly had her and that’s why she came back to me.

someone told us we needed to grow up and stop fighting. we attempted, but then we fought. a full on brawl really. but the physicality of the fighting seamlessly merged into sex.

hard, aggressive, hate-filled sex.

and that’s where about i woke myself up.

i had a sex dream about you, and i feel gross.

*barf*